Work Ethics

If you are:
1) Taking all the credit all by yourself even if everyone did their part to finish the work.
2) Speaking bad things about your work mates and praising yourself too much to other people.
3) Taking most of the tasks yet you’re not doing it or messes it up, giving more stressful workload to your work mates.
4) You pressure others to the point that someone does get the job inadequately.
5) You have good connections to your boss and you use it to your own advantage to handicap your work mates.
Well bad luck, you have a bad work ethic. At least these are the qualities to determine to tell whether your work ethics is bad or not, in my perspective.
Yes, I may have those qualifications that I have a bad work ethic. But hey, at least I’m not a hypocrite. I hope that I could change it when I am still in college before I venture out to the real world. Reality outside the school will be a painful experience if you still have these qualities, because you can make mortal enemies in the workplace with that attitude of yours.

This was inspired by a post in the Humans of New York Facebook page.

Elusive

I don’t like to talk to people. I tend to feel that they think that I don’t belong on their group. They don’t like a person like me. They feel that I am different. That I am deviant, that I am toxic. That why I am elusive to people. Yet I want to be close to people.

I have the tendency to restrain myself from interacting with other people, because I feel that I don’t “connect” to them because I feel that I will rejected and a mess that no one should deserve to be close to me. That includes my close friends and my family. You know that feeling when you are with someone who is close to you yet you feel that you don’t belong to his/her life? Yeah, I feel like that everyday. Though I have thoughts that I  am very close to them. I feel that I am connected.

Well, I want to say many things to  many people which I cannot say to the straight in the face. To the people who try to help me with all their “advice”, you make me feel worse about myself. They think that they are being “expert psychologists” when in fact that they don’t know anything about psychology at all. They’re all quack for me.

My brother telling me that I am being selfish because I only think of myself. Oh sorry, but did I tell you and mom to NOT bother me. Heck, I don even feel both of you as someone who I can cling on when I am in need. Oh well, at least you tried.

And to one of my friends in high school, fuck you. I mean, FUCK YOU for existing. You are a reminder that you are one of the persons that I should avoid in life because I want to punch you in the face. And to tell you that, our friends hates you. And you’re a living piece of shit.

Though I have a few hopes that i could keep on living. I have this crush on someone who I am friends with. Let’s call this person ‘GC’. I don’t have the ability to tell my feelings to this person, but I want to tell this. I like you. Heck, maybe I could say that I love you because I have a crush on you since last semester (maybe even earlier, I dunno); that means that I have feelings for you. I want to erase these but I can’t do it. Maybe that’s the reason why my relationships don’t last too long. I can’t stop thinking about you everyday.

So, GC. I want to tell my feelings for you for a long time but I’m afraid that I can’t. I’m afraid to come out of my shell and say my what I want to say with you, maybe because you will hate me or avoid me for that. Probably I am not your type of guy. I don’t mind if you don’t return my feelings. I just want you to know that there is an elusive fox who cares for you, even if I don’t show these when we interact with each other. But I can’t seem to do it. Maybe I won’t until you graduate from college. But if you are on trouble, I’m always here for you. Love you, GC.

Lost in his Home

October 7, 2016. Friday. I had two breakdowns on that day (~9:45AM & ~11AM). Life is so good for me that it made me cry like the little bitch like I am in my room and in the Old Humanities Building in UP Los Baños. /sarcasm
Just like my orgmate (and friend) in UP Los Baños, “It’s beyond your control.” It’s true, especially if you’re just dealing all of your problems in life by yourself. It’s noxious that you’re killing yourself with all the anxieties in life that eats all of your feelings away. I want to discuss this to my friends & family about it, but I don’t like to talk to people. I think all of them are the backstabbing type where their knives which are poison-coated that will slowly kill you inside.

I just hate myself thinking that idea about people. Maybe I’m just too traumatized from what happened during my childhood that it affected my interaction to other people who I may not be able to make friends or meet my someone that may hold a special place to my heart. I don’t like that. I just don’t know how to solve this dilemma of mine. Maybe I don’t know myself that well, after all.

I’m a fox lost in the woods which is his own home.

Mirage

I am travelling in a desert, far away from the civilization that I know. My throat is parched, the rays of the sun reaches its zenith, the heat is getting stronger & stronger.

As I travel further to the desert, my water supply runs out. I started searching for a source of water, but I found no source of water nearby. My desire of getting water begins to be stronger as the heat of the sun starts to intensify. I started to walk fast, then ran as fast as I can just to find water.

Then I found a person standing far away, so I walked towards that person. As I go near, I recognize that person. It was you; the person that I adore. “Why are you here?”, I asked. You did not respond. Maybe you were here because you followed me. Then I rushed to you hoping that you will save me from this miserable experience. Then you disappeared just as I go and embrace you. It was just a mirage; a mere hallucination made by my desires of you.

Realizing this, I knelt to my knees and my tears started to flow. Maybe I deserved to be here, I deserved to die alone without seeing your face. Then as I rise my head and accept my grim fate I saw something shining. There was an oasis in front of me. I cried again but this time, I cried for joy. Maybe you were guiding me, even if you’re not even here in the first place.

Thank you, my love. Thank you for being an illusion. Thank you for giving me a reason to live. Even if you were just an illusion, you guided me to my life.

Welcome to my blog!

Hey there, my name is Gumiho-san and welcome to my blog! In advance, I would like to say thank you for visiting this blog site of mine because I am just learning how to be a blogger.

I have several plans to create good quality in this site, and I would like to see the results coming from these. And I hope that you will enjoy reading my posts here which may be really random, hehe. :^)

And that’s all for today and I hope to see you again!