I always feel so empty inside. Before, I always cling on people hoping that they will fill that void that is inside of me. But the end result was always negative – it makes it bigger and make me feel terrible for existing.
Me living every single day was a painful torture for me. My thoughts that I am being a burden to everyone – that I was a being of destruction wrecking everything it touches. I just wish that I could hide my presence around people. These thoughts linger even on the most cherished moments I had in my life.
Because of these thoughts, I just had a thought of running away – thinking that it could be the way to solve my problems. I always feel tired of living everyday trying to get by. One time I did it, and all I felt was guilt because I abandoned my friends that were also trying to exert my effort to live through the hardship that we were facing. I kept making excuses on why I left, denying the fact that I gave in to the weak side of mine. A few months ago, I almost gave in to my weak persona again. I felt so bad saying those harsh words that came through my mind.
However, I won’t run away this time. I won’t run away this time, and I will stand resolute to the wave that is coming. I may always trip and stumble but I will always get right back up because I have people who always believe in me, even if I have this doubt inside of me. That’s why I want to thank all of them. I may have these thoughts but you people always push me to step forward to the centerstage.
Now the curtains are rising, hope you will enjoy the show that is called my life.
“The performance begins.” -Jhin, League of Legends